The Academy Awards

Listen…if you’re into effeminate dudes gushing over a millionaire’s wardrobe choice on some red carpet in Hollywood – that’s cool. Own it.

But remember – I’m allowed a few opinions of my own. One of which would be: It’d be really cool if you would join us on Planet Whogivesarip. The atmosphere here is devoid of envy and judgementalism; and movies…are just movies. It’s ‘award enough’ that the industry gets $30 from me if I choose to see a film on the big screen, I don’t need to see insiders and big-earners handing out hardware, and pretend like it’s a significant event in the world of art.

Unapologetically…I simply don’t get it.

In any case – here are some thoughts on the 84th annual Academy Awards from an average guy…

So…Clooney kissed Crystal, there was Angelina Jolie’s thigh, Ellen and JC Penny probably received the most “paid for” exposure, and it was a big night for HUGO and THE ARTIST.

Sadly, the 84th Academy Awards did NOT get rained out like Sunday’s Daytona 500…but a tip of the hat goes to Billy Crystal for stating the obvious right off the top – something I’ve been saying for years. With the economic struggles we all face today, nothing lifts our spirits more than watching a bunch of millionaires hand-out trophies to each other.

I haven’t watched this thing in years…in fact, last night Dionne asked if we’d ever watched the Oscars together before – and I don’t think we have. And actually, we still haven’t watched it together. When I finally woke up – the Oscars had been over for an hour and she’d already watched two recorded episodes of “Parenthood.”

Now…I could blame it on the Natty Light and Milwaukee’s Best ICE that accompanied the first 45-minutes of the Awards – but why point fingers and assign blame. Truth is – the biggest crime committed here…I’m now out of cheap beer for the rain-delayed 54th running of the Daytona 500 today.

You see? Something else to add to my resentment over America’s blind fascination with wealthy people who earn millions…playing pretend for a living.