To avoid embarrassment – there are a few conversations couples shouldn’t have over appetizers at a restaurant…with nearby diners simply trying to enjoy their meals.
Okay there are the obvious topics to avoid:
– Stool softeners or the Kaopectate conversation
– Graphic tales of injury…or surgery
– Politics can bend ears in your direction – I’d avoid that
And let’s add to the list…waterproofing and sealant. If you have a voice that tends to carry – this conversation can make you sound like an insane pervert for those listening-in late. When you finally notice of the surrounding eyes upon you, the stares can be brutal – especially when children are seated at those nearby tables.
You see, there’s one form of waterproofing and a sealant that can be used as both a noun and verb – when spelled differently, it’s certainly not a flattering noun, and can also be used as an action word.
My preferred waterproofing and sealant – that happened to come up during conversation…while I was apparently using my outside, instead of inside voice…with other judgmental humans around…was – I’ll just spell it for you: C-A-U-L-K.
From here on out, I’ll just add an “H” to the word – so as to not offend while relaying the rest of the story…
There I sat, describing how I was going to CHAULK that RV like it had never been CHAULKED before. I’d get that CHAULK into every crevice, every gap, and just CHAULK like there’s no tomorrow. Although my CHAULKING gun was getting a little worn out with all of the recent action…
And there were the EYES…the SILENCE…Forks down. Unhappy stares.
Oddly enough, I think we were both having chicken that night – though I’m fairly certain it was breast…of hen.
Can we please rename…that stuff?