Good news…in my lifetime, we will never run out of shampoo, conditioner or hand-lotion – because my wife is a kleptomaniac.
We travel quite a bit and have stayed in our share of hotels; and when we do – the cleaning crew can count on replenishing the…what we assume are complimentary soaps, shampoos, conditioners and lotions EVERY DAY. No joke, my toiletry case gains 12-pounds after my annual 3-week stay in New York.
There’s a huge shoebox under the sink in our master bathroom that holds all of her hotel pirate booty…some of the prettier bottles are even on display for use in our guest bathroom!
I fear, though, that her addiction to travel-size theft has escalated, and there may need to be an intervention. After returning from our trip to Boston recently, not only had she hijacked all the soaps, I noticed that a notepad from the hotel was sitting on the kitchen counter!
So I brought it up.
She then reminded me that I’d checked into the hotel on a Friday night, but we opted instead to spend that night with family and friends, so we only spent one night at the hotel. Because I didn’t steal the shampoo, conditioner and hand-lotion the night I checked in, she was only able to take home one-round of her travel-size booty – and she was pretty pissed about it! So – like with her make-up purchases, I guess she settled on the bonus gift of a hotel note-pad.
I know – it could be worse. I could have stacks of hotel towels, robes, soap-dishes, glasses, curtain-rods, pillows and blankets…I’m lucky. The source of her kleptomania still fits in her luggage and doesn’t incur additional credit card charges from the hotel soon after the discovery of what’s missing.
But this is becoming epic…I have 73-pounds of unused travel-size shampoo bottles under the sink on my side of the bathroom. If there’s an investigation, I’m busted…and I don’t even have hair!