Mmmm – I guess it’s the new dog food.

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Nature…is breathtaking. There’s no doubt about it. Especially when your dog walks up and licks you in the face with a bounty of wonderful nature, still on its breath…

I love deer – they’re a sight to behold, watching ‘em wander through the yard… every day – hunting acorns under the piles of leaves stashed on the property, deposited by the Cyclone Rake. They’re just…regal…elusively enchanting…and incredibly gifted – defecate-ers…

I’m completely serious when I say I’m considering putting an end to all dog food purchases. My pups don’t want to eat that crap anyway – all they want to do every morning is stroll the property, nose to ground, until they find that ripe treasure of Bambi booty…piled neatly on the leaves like freshly spilled Raisinets.

And the leashed blind dog? Forget about it – she isn’t moving off her find until she polishes off every last morsel. There isn’t a choke chain that’ll DRAG her away.

It’s to the point of addiction.

5:30…the random barking starts; a hungry dog, ready for intake; but she wants nothing with that bag of trash stashed in the hall closet, she wants the fiber-rich pellets, resting in steaming heaps not a hundred feet from where she’s laid her head all night.

Seriously, all I need is a bowl and a scooper – and I could save her the struggle of olfactory investigation…just harvest the morning deposit, maybe marinade it with a little water – breakfast “nature style!” Apparently it’s tastier than Science Diet.

Hey Sam…you ready for breakfast? << BARKING >>

Ugh – this stuff is worse than meth. So listen – enjoy forking over another 40 on an 18-pound bag of mystery kibble…Me and my masters are heading out for an exciting A.M. of forage, find, and gorge – on the remnants of breathtaking…