Marriage defined…through makeup and beer

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Honest to God, when my wife starts telling me how much money she saved, and the amazing gifts she received with a makeup purchase that day…(from bonus mascara – to lip-gloss – to cute little bags!) I’ve trained myself to envision her topless and pretend she’s discussing football. Quite frankly, when she’s done…20 minutes later; I have no idea how much she saved or where she bought the makeup, but I’m content…and drooling.

When I bring up beer, wort-color, clarifier, and God forbid…malts and hops – I can see the eyes rolling back in her head, but know enough to plough-on like a horse still planting potatoes just west of Caribou, Maine. I endured the make-up chatter – surely she can let me openly work-out the challenges faced while home-brewing over a hot pot in the garage…

…and that’s why it works.

Tolerance, understanding, and compassion for passion…unshared.

Estee Lauder is not a curse word – it’s the cue to visit tongue-drag land; time for me to fantasize over my naked wife debating the merits of the West Coast offense over the Tebow-inspired option!

Just like the subject of Hallertaur hops vs. Cascade is an opportunity for Dionne to envision me…with Richard Gere’s face, body, personality and charm – doting over her like a millionaire with a penchant for well-manicured hookers.

It just works. It appears we’re interested in each others’…passions – though we know the reality is quite opposite.

Before we get started with each individual conversation, we will actually say to each other: “Okay – humor me for a second here,” and then it’s on! And for that – I love my wife…and Hallertauer hops (which far exceeds the quality of Cascade hops – times ten!).

Love your wife enough to HEAR Estee Lauder…while SEEING her topless in front of a chalkboard defining Joe Montana’s pocket protection. And she’ll love you enough to imagine Richard Gere talking diamonds and puppies, while you’re extolling the virtues of Bavaria over Mount Hood.

Take the time to find the groove that works for you…and ride that Metro all the way from the Columbia River to Lake Oswego…THAT is the definition of a healthy marriage…