An Idiot on the Lake…

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A man judges his own self-worth through his level of productivity.

Talk to a guy who’s been out of a job for a year or longer – and you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about…frustration, a feeling of failure…the defeatist attitude sets-in like a Springtime fogbank on an Ozarks lake.

That said…allow me to treat you to an impression of my recent performance during a team fishing tournament on Table Rock Lake…

<< Harp gliss >>

“Wow, Jeff – Nice fish! Here, let me get the net…” << Harp gliss >>

“Another one – great – let me get the net…” << Harp gliss >>

“Hey…super…another fish. I’ll get the net…” << Harp gliss >>

“(Sigh) – Here’s the frickin’ net…”

<< Harp gliss >>

We’d both cast…we’d both reel…Jeff would catch fish…I would admire fish…repeat steps one through four for five solid hours. But wait, it gets even better…

Casting our final bank…somehow the rod came flying out of my hand, landing 10-feet from the boat…slowly sinking like a luxury liner on a cold, April night…

We managed to troll TO the rod before it sank completely; finally, it was I who needed the net! Only instead of retrieving the pole, to add insult to injury – once the net hit the rod, it sank to the bottom like a 2-ton anchor.

Gone…claimed by the depths of Table Rock; just another lake…maniacally laughing at my pathetic display of fishing, shaking her head at my worthless lack of productivity.

Perhaps I’ll take-up knitting.