A Girl’s Best Friend? It’s not Diamonds…

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Diamonds are a girl’s best friend? Ha! Hardly.

Ask any woman – or Shawn Askinosie – and they’ll both tell you the distinction belongs to chocolate.

You want to test the theory? Take a long road-trip with your wife. When she asks if you can stop so she can get some chocolate – blow by six or seven exits before stopping, because YOU think it would make more sense to stop when you need to fill up. You know, kill two birds with one stone!

By the fourth bypassed exit – you’ll notice an inexplicable sensation. I can only describe it like…you just know a sniper’s scope is pointed directly at your temple, but you can’t see it. You feel danger – but it hasn’t revealed itself yet. There’s this invisible, undeniable foreboding dread.

If you make it six or seven exits – congratulations…you’re married to one of the most patient human beings on the face of the Earth. Most ladies don’t have that kind of chocolate craving fortitude.

You see, what I learned after making this tragic, silent-treatment inducing, life-changing mistake was…when a woman REQUESTS chocolate, it’s already too late. In fact, if you’re 20-miles from the next exit, but see an outer-road leading to a convenience store, my recommendation would be to gas it hard, jump the ditch and screech into the Grab’n Dash pronto. Emergency situation!

Or better still – as is the case for me today – when checking those fluid levels and tire-pressure before hitting the road, buy a fist full of her favorite and put it somewhere it won’t melt.

When the request is made, and you’re there for her – let her be amazed at your anticipation. Show her that you know her inside and out and love her dearly. Sure, we both know the REAL REASON behind what appears to be sympathetic preparedness…is drama avoidance – good defense – tactical planning that’ll save your sanity, or quite possibly even your life.

Yes – chocolate will always have more emotional power over your wife than you. Get over it – and make it your tool. Use its power for good – for your good, for goodness sake.

Chocolate…is a girl’s best friend.